23 Things to Help 2023 Graduates Succeed in Life and Career

Dear 2023 Graduates,

Since graduating, I’ve learned things that most people won’t tell you outright, but I say them because I care. They’re the equivalent of letting your best friend know they have spinach in their teeth. You say it not to shame them, but because you respect them and want them to do well. Don’t mistake my bluntness for callousness. I’m just being real.

Over the years I’ve picked up a lot of bad habits from being a workaholic and seeking significance outside myself. I hope to save you time and prevent a lot of unnecessary stress.

…Although, you probably won’t believe me until you writing your own article on “30 things to know before turning 30”. But you live and learn 😄.

Which sounds more fun?

Accountability now or an apology to yourself later?

23 Things to Know for Life and Career Success: Time

You only have so much time and it’s the same amount as everyone else.

1. Wake up early

Honestly, not a lot of work gets done during the average workday. A lot of unproductive meetings, lots of email checking, and coffee breaks. Get up early and spend an hour doing work that must get done before your day actually starts. “Must” means if you don’t do it someone could die (or an equivalent level of urgency). “Must” does not mean “should”.

2. Put a hold on your calendar for lunch

No one cares if you get to eat or not. Determine when you want to take your lunch and put a perpetual hold on your calendar. Treat it like any other meeting. If a meeting gets scheduled then, decline it — you’re busy. Do the same thing for your exercise.

3. After 8 hours, close your computer and go home

I worked around the clock for the first three years at LinkedIn. Half the day was for work and the rest consisted of side projects and my nonprofit, The Leon Foundation of Excellence. My boss had to tell me in every review, “The work will always be there”. Only now is that sinking in. Unless you plan on being a doctor, you probably won’t do anything that you can’t stop at a set time each day. Politely I say, GO HOME!

4. Spend time with your family

I’m almost three decades old. It’s at this point in life you realize that the work will always be there and you should go home (ahem ^^). Spend time with your family.

Especially if you’ve been away for four years in school, don’t just go home for the holidays. Pick a job that allows you to prioritize your family. You don’t know how long you or they will be around.

5. Get your sleep

I’ve always worn a burnout badge of honor: Only sleeps four hours, works seven days a week, doesn’t eat but a quesadilla per day, and never needs coffee or drugs to keep going …aka Super Woman.

Nobody cares about that stuff…But our bodies do.

Go get your sleep.

Think of it like a productivity hack. With fewer hours in the day, because you are sleeping more, you have to get better at prioritizing your time.

Catch up on all those ZZZZs you missed from partying, I mean studying 😉.

6. Do one thing at a time

Multitasking is quickly switching from one thing to another and back again.

I was the Queen of multitasking until I realized I couldn’t (and didn’t want to) continue operating at that level of inefficiency.

Yep, you heard me right, multitasking is INEFFICIENT.

After eating humble pie, I shifted to doing one thing at a time. My stress went way down and my productivity went way up.

Don’t fall into the trap of multitasking. Get better at protecting your time by first doing what matters most and then whatever else brings you joy.

7. Plan your day the night before

Nightly review your calendar and remove any unnecessary meetings. Make sure your lunch and exercise are blocked. Get honest about how much time you need to sleep, get ready, commute, and be on time for everything. Then fill in deep work time to get your urgent/important tasks done. Map it out, take notes on how long it takes you, and over time you’ll get better at making these estimates.

8. There are no deadlines

I spoke to a friend who had been in tech for 25 years. He was retiring and I asked what was his biggest takeaway. He said, “There are no deadlines”. He doesn’t mean don’t get your work done on time. But if you gain enough experience, you’ll see that any deadline can be moved and will be, sometimes for silly reasons.

So when you want to cancel your vacation with friends because you have a deadline, rethink it. Sometimes you just need to go live your life. Everything will be okay.

23 Things to Know for Life and Career Success: Money

It is a tool for your use, don’t let it own you.

9. Put away a percentage of every paycheck

You are replaceable. And anyone graduating this year knows it’s been hard to find a job. Once you get one, there will come a time when it will end and you will be replaced (aka all the tech layoffs right now). Save up for that moment and other life emergencies.

10. Buy experiences, not stuff

Use your spending money to make memories not mountains of materials. Age comes fast and you never know how your body is going to handle it or what disabilities you’re going to acquire (we all get one or another). Go do things now.

No one cares about your car, your clothes, or your house.

Not real friends, anyways.

But they do care about your company, care, and commitment.

11. Create a legacy while you’re young

People consider giving back when they’re older. The misnomer is that that’s when they’ll have impactful money. But if you start an organization or scholarship when you’re 65 you’ve lost at least 30 years of meaning. Start something now. You don’t need a lot and the endowment will be huge by the time everyone else is ready to give.

To get started, contact your favorite nonprofit or university and ask, “How can I give back regularly and maximize impact?”

I know you’re probably just about to start paying off your loans and thinking of giving back might evoke a slight twinge. Just like sleeping more encourages time prioritization, giving inspires financial discipline. Start giving, even just 1%.

23 Things to Know for Life and Career Success: Job

Your working years go by fast. Do what brings you happiness, not gray hairs.

12. Build your network

The lie you’ve been told since you were five is that your school, grades, and sports matter. They don’t. Relationships and people skills do. Classic wisdom — it’s not what you know but who you know.

Be visible, vocal, and valuable.

That’s how you build connections. Those connections pay dividends.

13. Maintain your relationships

Schedule a regular time to connect with people you care about but who are not in your everyday life. This pays off when you’re looking to change jobs or industries, but more importantly than that, if you care for someone, intentionally connect with them.

Life is defined by our relationships and goes by too quickly not to be proactive in this area. Don’t “lose touch”. That’s just an excuse, especially in the modern age. The carrier pigeon didn’t forget to deliver that text or phone call.

14. Impact numbers directly

Some positions directly impact business numbers and others that have a tangential impact. Know which kind of job you have. If it’s tangential, be more prepared to change jobs than others may be. That means keeping your connections strong, your resume updated, etc.

Direct-impact jobs include sales or engineering.

Tangential jobs include people managers or recruiters. Not to say these aren’t important roles, they’re super important but also disposable. If you get one of these roles, be honest with yourself, and don’t get upset when your job gets cut in tough times.

Know how your job ties into the company’s strategy and priorities. If it’s not clear, ask someone who would know. If they don’t know, start looking for a new role.

15. Look for a job when you don’t want a new one

People always look for a job once they need one. You might be one of those people who are applying for jobs now that you’ve graduated. Nothing wrong with it, but you can save yourself a lot of stress if you put out feelers while you are excelling at your current role or still in school. You won’t come across as desperate or needy. You can negotiate from a place of power.

16. Stay relevant & curious

Ask yourself: Are people coming to you for help, are you being asked to speak on a topic, do you know something about the latest news, are you an SME?

Stay relevant, do what it takes, take a course, ask the hard questions, etc.

17. Be consistent and keep the trust

The best way to excel is to do one thing well. “Well” means consistently well.

Whatever your thing is do it consistently to a high standard. This builds trust and with trust, you are entitled to bigger projects, more important clients, etc.

Don’t go searching for a way to become important. Your importance comes from being reliably good at the job you were hired for. Only if you have extra capacity, push the team to the next level through innovative thoughts, new processes, or extra work.

18. Set yourself up to get a champion

A champion is not a boss or a mentor. It’s someone who can see your potential and will do whatever it takes to help you fulfill it. They speak your name in important rooms. You can’t hire one. You can’t search “Champion” on LinkedIn. You usually get one by being visible, vocal, and valuable. And by chance, someone says, “Wow, that person is going somewhere! And I want to help them get there.” Once you have one, treat them well. They are hard to come by.

23 Things to Know for Life and Career Success: Self

There is only one person you have to live with forever and one person who can ruin your life; you.

19. Develop self-awareness

If you have not spent time reflecting upon who you are, what you want, where you come from, and where you are headed, do so. Take a day to ask yourself these questions.

The answers don’t need to be final or perfect, just start the journey of getting to know yourself. Why do you want the career you’ve told yourself you want? Are you running from or toward something? Whose voice is in your head?

20. Don’t lie

This is not the lying we were taught not to do in kindergarten. This refers to the lies you tell yourself. Do you pretend to be fiscally responsible yet you have debt and won’t admit it to yourself? Do you tell yourself you’re no good, but you have skills people are always praising? Get honest with yourself about the following aspects of life: finances, health, family, faith, relationship, friends, self, career, past, present, and future desires. The good and the bad.

This establishes a relationship of trust between you and you. iI’s hard to trust someone who isn’t honest thus it’s hard to trust yourself if you lie about who you are and don’t keep the promises you make to yourself.

A good way to check yourself is by setting an alarm for 6:00 AM. Did you make it out of bed or do you lack integrity about other things too?

21. Volunteer

We feel a lot better about our lives and ourselves when we give. Find an opportunity to help someone or a community.

It’s that simple, but it will change your life.

22. Forgive

Whatever happened, let it go. They probably already have. You don’t have to let it happen again. You can block numbers, draw boundaries, learn and do something different next time. But let it go. And if you’re ambitious, tell them you’ve let it go.

23. Travel

Only about 15% of Americans have been out of the country…ever! This summer go get some worldly perspective and then feel deep gratitude. Your life is a blessing. Go bless others. And whatever piece of your life you don’t like, summon the courage to do something about it.

Bonus: Date well

A lot could be said here, but keeping it simple — if they are not nice, move on. If you’re mean, bless them by moving on (or becoming a better person). If you’re a workaholic, don’t date until that changes. If you date, seek to out-serve them and get really good at #22.

🎓 Congrats to this year’s grads!

It’s a challenging moment in time, but it will pass. Use the difficulty to grow stronger and save yourself some pain later in life when you have more to lose.

Some of this may not be new to you, but if you’re not already doing it, how many times do you need to hear these simple truths before you abide by them?

Would now be an okay time to start?

Message me if you need help. I can save you many years and tears… 😂

Serve widely, give greatly.