Adulting in 2020 Pt. 5
2020.41 Live Sustainably
Why this matters: The Earth and its’ health is vital for our survival, but I am not pushing climate change or a ‘hippie’ lifestyle when I talk about ‘going green’. I am coming from a place of waste and inefficiency. I don’t like wasting time, energy, or money and I love doing good.
From that perspective, I have been assessing my life and watching myself create a lot of waste and add my share to the growing Earth cleanliness issue. I’m not really interested in living in a place that smells, is full of trash, toxic, and is painted in a beautiful hue of concrete gray.
Green, color, plants, fresh air, birds, peace, and rejuvenation sounds much nicer to me.
Remember how the outside is a reflection of the inside? How a beautiful confident soul usually doesn’t have a dirty smelly room or car. Like attracts like. So what does the condition of this world say about us? About our values? About who we are inside?
You can write this off, but I am so excited to increase my commitment to a sustainable life 🌳.
What you can do:
- Take public transportation to school or work 🚎
- Carpool. There are many new carpool apps out there such as this one
- Put solar on your home
- Avoid purchasing plastic — plastic items, packaging, or clothes — or using plastic bags or straws
- When eating out or grabbing fast food bring your own to-go containers and cups (8,12, & 16oz). Keep them in your car right next to your reusable bags
- Run the dishwasher and washer only with full loads
- Hang dry your clothes
- Be a strict shopper. If you do not need it, don’t buy it. Stop trying to get attention and love through your material possessions and new clothes
- Use, buy, make, eat only what you need
- Have a garden or planters to grow your own food. Use what you grow. There are many great indoor planters if you don’t have a yard
- Make your own cleaners and beauty products
- Adopt or foster two or four legged loved ones
- Rethink your hair. Constantly dying it? Let it grow out. Know that your color is beautiful! 🎀💈
- Turn the heat down and take colder showers — it also makes your hair shinier
- Encourage your company to employ sustainable practices. Start a garden, plant trees, or support an organization that does. Build green buildings. Use solar. Provide stipends for employees to use public transportation
- If you are in a housing structure with room for more, live with others. Rent out a room or invite a family member to live with you. This is a great way to consolidate resources, aid during the housing shortage, make some money, or help out a young adult who is just getting started in a very pricey housing market
Resources:
2020.42 Focus & Excel
Why this matters: For many years I have been hustlin’ (aka working hard) and doing everything I could get my hands on — Working three jobs at once while pursuing two degrees and running a company kinda shiz.
I didn’t have a particular focus other than getting as much experience and exposure as possible. And then excelling as best as I could. This was great for that time in my life. I learned a lot more about what I like to do, what I am good at and capable of, and how this world works.
Now that I have a clearer direction, it’s time to focus and get really good at one thing. The time might come when I need to go back to wearing many hats and I can adjust when that happens, but life has peaks and valleys. There is a time for everything.
In this moment, it’s time to focus and excel.
What you can do:
- First of all, love what you do or have a reason for doing what you do. Then focus on excelling in that area
- Take classes or attend workshops
- Teach a class or workshop
- When at work, focus on work. Turn off all other distractions
- Plan something fun after work so it’s easier to self-justify being intensely focus while on the job, knowing you have something to look forward to afterwards
- Get a mentor to learn more
- Get a mentee to understand your field on a deeper level via teaching it to someone else
- Read materials or news on your field
- Reach out to experts in your field and connect with them on LinkedIn
Resources:
2020.43 Do Something Meaningful At Any Age
Why this matters: I’ve seen first hand how a tragic moment can make us realize how precious this life is and motivate us to do something special with our time here.
My mom is a great example of this. She is a very strong woman with a sensitive heart. She raised us well and focused on our growth. Then she went back to finish her degree while I was also in college.
Afterwards she wasn’t sure what to do. Excuses of age or capability crept in every once-in-a-while with whispers of doubt. Then she developed a brain tumor.
But that didn’t hold her back. She pushed through the pain, depression, and loss of hope. Although the tumor took away her mobility, stability, and energy, she pushed on and made herself walk and drive again. She tried new things and got on a plane — something she hasn’t done in 20 years.
Her bravery and strength came out in full force. So did her hunger for something more. She wanted to feel like she was a part of something bigger, a community, a cause, or the like.
A loss of life or ability often drives us to get them back and make the rest of our life more meaningful than before. We don’t want to take advantage of what we have regained.
But you do not need old age or disease to show you how special your life is.
Instead, take advantage of all you have now and do something big with it.
I do not care what your age is, how young or old you may be, you can make a difference and leave behind footprints of positive change.
Chop chop! Get to work.
It doesn’t matter what you do. The only right answer is something you care about, something that makes you happy, something that demonstrates your values.
Don’t know what to do? Go try anything. Try a million things! If you still don’t find something you connect with, come up with the next new thing.
You’re only as limited and unworthy as your attitude.
What you can do:
- Tutor
- Mentor
- Volunteer
- Donate
- Start an organization or annual event such as a run for a certain cause
- Make or build something 🔨
- Spend time with people
- Clean up your community
- Help someone in need
- Bring people together to do one of the above options
- Love
Resources:
2020.44 Take Notes
Why this matters: If you want to grow you have to learn. Everyday, in small ways people are giving you information, clues, resources that you can use to push your growth. Start taking notes.
What you can do:
- Carry a note book and your favorite pen with you
- Use a notes app
- Observe behavior, listen to commentary, notice interactions
- Write down key information that could help you build relationships, find resources, or do a better job
- Do your research
- Reach out to people
- Make a (big) ask and be willing to get a “No”
Resources:
2020.45 Be Beautiful & Be Nice
Why this matters: Look honey, I think these are the two keys to the kingdom.
If you can master these two, you’re golden.
They seem simple just like a professional ballerina’s dance routine, but you know behind that elegance and simplicity is a **** ton of work.
To be a genuinely nice person requires feeling ok within yourself, familiar with and confident in who you are, the ability to have empathy and understanding for others, and knowledge of how to respond to difficult situations and advocate for yourself.
To be truly beautiful requires a beautiful spirit. I’m not talking about your make up, your boobs, your muscles, your beard, etc. when I say beauty because all of that looks a lot more beautiful when that beauty comes from within.
We know this. We’ve heard this a million times.
Beauty comes from within
Yet we donate tons of hours and money towards improving our outside and have very little focus on the inside.
Instead start within. Look for ways to be a good person. Affirm your worth and start believing that no matter what, you are ABSOLUTELY STUNNING!!
(I’m going to tell myself this too because I am also working on this)
There is no doubt that you are special, beautiful, and a precious soul made from love.
Stop listening to likes 👍🏻or comments .
Just know this truth within.
It requires years of work, but once you get there, your faith, knowingness, and self-trust will be immovable. #rocksolid
What you can do:
- Look in the mirror and appreciate yourself
- Know your inner truth. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
- Take care of your body, mind, energy, and spirit
- Smile and have a good attitude
- Do nice things for others
- Be a pleasant person
- Go out of your way to be a respectful, well-mannered, decent person
- Push your comfort zone and show yourself what you are capable of to increase your confidence
- Do not worry about what other people think about you. This can take some work and time, but if you do the work you will get there. Take a look at what kind of people you are hanging out with. If they are super judgy or have a big need for approval from other people or social media this could hold you back. Spend time with other people who are secure in themselves
- Cultivate a skill or talent
- Read books about strong people
- Find a mentor with great self esteem
- Have an open mind and be accepting of all types of people
- Respond rather than react
- Advocate for yourself. A person with inner strength is … Ahem… very nice 👌🏽😉
- Develop good habits. Let nothing distract you from your goals
- KNOW YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. And thus nothing and no one can devalue you. You are the most important thing in your life and your actions need to reflect that. Have good boundaries. Take care of yourself. Go after your dreams. Love. Speak up. Feel feelings. And open your heart
Resources:
2020.46 Advocate For Others
Why this matters: It can be challenging to stand up for yourself especially if you have not been modeled this behavior or taught how to do it or told that doing it is okay.
If you are lucky enough to know the importance of standing up for others and are comfortable doing it or are trying to develop this skill, then go for it.
Be the person that someone can turn to for support. Be the person who does not enable poor behavior. By you standing up, not only are you developing your confidence and strengthening your moral code, but you are showing others they have a friend, a supporter, and are valuable — and you are creating a learning moment for the one(s) who are behaving poorly.
You may never know it, they may never tell you, but this could be the moment that causes the ‘offender’ to rethink how they’ve been going about their life and choose a totally different, more considerate course.
What you can do:
- Pay attention to the words and behaviors of others. Notice social dynamics so you understand where the lines are and when someone has crossed it vs when someone is well within them taking the context and relationships involved in to an account
- Get to know people and their history. What do they like and dislike. What are their pronouns, religion, ethnicity, etc
- Speak up when situation are tense or inappropriate
- Support causes you care about
- Write a piece or speak up for those whose voices are being hushed
- Have empathy and ask questions. Be a support system for those who are experiencing something tough
Resources:
2020.47 Toot Your Own Horn
Why this matters: I want the whole world to know how wonderful, strong, and brave you are.
Do the things and then tell people you did them.
There is one person who I admire a lot and the reason I admire them is because they are unapologetically proud
Be Unapologetically Proud
They have no shame in telling people how hard they have worked and all that they have gotten done. I don’t think it is bragging. I think it’s advertising.
If you want to be recognized, recognize yourself.
Now if you are expecting people to kiss your feet and give you a gold star for what you did (especially if it’s something you should be doing anyway) then it may be bragging or be coming from an unhealthy, egotistical place.
Otherwise, I think it’s telling people, especially your cheer squad, what you have done and how proud of yourself you are. They should support and celebrate you.
We all need a support system in our life, people who are excited about our success.
What you can do:
- Update your resume and LinkedIn
- When you accomplish something big, notify your network
- Keep record of what you do at work so when you are being considered for a promotion, you have a list of evidence of all your hard work. Data, my friend — collect it
- Share with your people all the cool things you are doing. Who knows, they might want to get on board and be your next partner or biggest supporter
- Blog
- Get a support group of cheerleaders who you can share your news with — oh, and celebrate them too!
Resources:
2020.48 Take Care of Someone or Something
Why this matters: Many young people do not know what it is like to take care of another being. They don’t have a chance to practice and then they get a pet or have a child and have no idea what they are doing.
Get some experience first, develop empathy, and learn the art of taking care of another person or thing. So many parenting mistakes could be avoided if people gained some experience and made inconsequential mistakes first.
Taking care of another develops responsibility and helps you understand another’s needs. It also gives you a glimpse of all the resources you are going to need when you are older and hopefully is motivation for saving up for retirement and making sure your parents have their money and paperwork in order for when the time comes for you to take care of them.
After you gain some experience, go get a plant or pet and further develop your skills in empathy, teaching, parenting, and taking care.
What you can do:
- Get a plant or animal 🦚
- Help out an elder or child
- Babysit
- Volunteer in a school or care center
- Lend a hand, a listening ear, a tissue or hug
- Be a good friend
- Work with an organization that takes care of people or animals. Get others, such as your friends or family, involved
- Ask your neighbors how you can help them out
- Foster or adopt
Resources:
2020.49 Count Your Blessings
Why this matters: My life has been full of challenges, heartbreak, loss, abuse, manipulation, poverty, and screaming tears — I am grateful for every one of those moments that caused me pain.
They are the pearls in my clam shell, the shimmer in my rainbow, the song in my soul ….. and all that other fluffy shizniz.
Feel goods aside — I am so blessed.
Every hateful thing that has been said to me, every accusation, every rejection has been a learning moment that has only made me stronger.
I count these among all of the other blessings in my life and they serve as reminders of all that I’ve been through and how strong I am. They carry me through life and times of doubt.
By recognizing all that has been given to me and finding the silver lining in the shadows, I empower myself to move closer to my truth as a being of enormous inner power.
What you can do:
- Make it part of your routine
- Write them down, say them out loud, or in a prayer
- Text or tell them to someone
Resources:
2020.50 Freak Out
Why this matters: I was in a workshop with a career coach who said “A setback is just a step back”.
Then they stressed the importance of allowing yourself to properly freak out.
There are many times when things “go wrong” in life and we just need a moment to freak out without people judging us and labeling us as “weak” or “crazy” or “unable to handle the pressure”. Things make us mad and if we can just have a second to feel and deal then we could move on and be more productive.
It’s when we have to stuff it away because we are worried about what others will think, how our employees will perceive us, etc then it comes out in unproductive ways — maybe towards our children or siblings or parents.
Either way, it has to come out so allow yourself to properly freak out (in the moment or relatively close)
There are many ways you can do this. Look below for some ideas.
While you are freaking out, ask others not to judge you or tell you how to feel, but just listen and give room for the feelings to come out.
Recognize that the freak out is already happening — it is a fact that you are freaking out. You feel horrible — that is a fact.
The crying is already happening — that ship has already docked.
It is not a fact that something horrible is actually happening. So freak out and then reassess — is something horrible actually happening?
Am I actually going to get fired? If so, is that actually a terrible thing?
Setbacks are necessary. A Ferrari is only going to remember that it can go fast if you take it to the track and drive it fast. Sure, there’s a chance of crashing or going off the track, but if you don’t risk it, it will just be like any other car.
You must fail, you must have setbacks, otherwise you will not know how capable you are, you fast you can go.
Take YOU to the track 🏁
And when you do crash, if you can open up and share, it will position you as a leader — People want a leader that they can go to and share with.
What you can do:
- Walk
- Talk
- Work out or do yoga
- Cry 😿
- Journal
- Breath, meditate, sit in silence, or do something that requires focus such as writing with the other hand
- Count your blessings and show gratitude
- Nap 🛏
- Write a letter to yourself or someone else as a way to vent. Send it, or not.
- Cook 🦐
- Scream in a sound proof place 🙀
- Punch a pillow, buy a cheap sheet and rip it apart, go boxing, buy dishes from goodwill and chuck them in the trash can *Make sure no one else is around and that you take care of your safety so no one gets hurt
- Sing or play music 🎸🎧🎻🎶🥁
Resources:
I can’t wait to share with you how I am going to incorporate these 50 principles into my personal goals for 2020 in the final part, part 6 of Adulting in 2020! See you in the new year!!! 🥳👋🦄
