Adulting in 2020 Pt. 4
2020.31 Organize Your Shizniz
Why this matters: If you have not already read No21, I recommend that one first. Once you have cleaned up your space, it’s time to organize the things you do keep.
By organizing your belongings, you increase your productivity, efficiency, and effectiveness.
As you move through your day, your energy should go towards getting your goals done, not finding lost items, searching endlessly for important documents, or cleaning up messes.
Clean and then keep it clean. 🧽
That means you need to have a system to your organization. And the discipline to follow that system religiously.
Have a place to put the mail? When you walk in put it there. Don’t get lazy, toss it on the counter, and flop down on the couch. Your work is not done yet.
Get back up.
All you are doing is creating more work for yourself down the line. If those bills get lost in the meantime, that extra work could be even more taxing and costly.
What you can do:
- Make a list of all your accounts. Autopay your bills. Create a budget and make sure the right amount from your paycheck goes into each account to cover those bills
- Put your keys, mail, and wallet in the same place everyday
- Label files and have a system for filing things — this goes for online emails and documents too
- Shred or toss old documents, usually anything over 10 years old
- Stick valuable papers and items in a fire proof safe
- Have a place for tomorrow’s outfit 👔👖👟 & lay it out
- Remove shoes as you come in and keep your shoe cleaner right next to them
- Coats and umbrellas in the coat closet, not on the chair
- Put back what you take out right after you are done with it, just like you would teach your kids
- Have a designated area for todos and projects. Then schedule in time to take care of them
- Rinse dishes after using them to prevent stink if you are not going to run your dishwasher that day
- Place all your cleaning supplies in one spot
- Check dates on food, cleaner, make up, and bath products. Chuck whatever is old. Then make note of why you did not use it up in time. Do you not need it? Did you have other products you were using? Do you over-shop and under-consume? Use these observations the next time you shop
Resources:
2020.32 Learn Something New Everyday
Why this matters: Often, we think life goes like this: 12 years of school and you know all the basics, 4 years of college and you’ve specialized, your long career doing one thing that makes you the big bucks, never touch a book again, spouse, house, kids, retire and become Yoda.
Not so.
The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.
Having been a teacher, I know two things.
- There is not enough time in a day, let alone a year, for a teacher to teach you all you need to know about a topic.
- If the curriculum or teacher is not that great or has a bias, there is a chance you are not learning accurate information.
It is up to you to take charge of your learning and never stop. Keep reading, watching, and listening. Inquire and ask questions. Revisit topics you think you know about. Learn something new everyday.
Even if you did learn all the things & all of them with 100% accuracy in school, I’m sure the way you interpret and remember them will change as your understanding of the world changes.
By continuing to learn you will continue to generate new ideas for solving problems, gain maturity and empathy for others, and hold your ground in intellectual conversations.
Stay fresh.
What you can do:
- Read a book, find a book club, or look up a top pick book list from a celeb, school, or organization
- Listen to audiobooks or podcasts
- Watch documentaries
- Look up a class at a college and buy the textbook to read on your own time. I recently did this and was astonished by how much I didn’t know about the topic
- Take or audit a class
- Use an online platform to continue learning
- Get a degree
- Pick one skill you want to master such as bartending, clothes making, shoe shining, golfing, the art of debate, photography …. and focus on it all year. Buy the books, take a course, subscribe to the magazines. Next year, pick a new skill. By the time retirement comes around, you will know how to do many many things and be well versed for all sorts of conversations, a “wise sage” you may be called 🧘🏼♀️🧘🏿♂️
Resources:
2020.33 Contribute
Why this matters: In the span of your life, many people have given many things to you. Society, your family, schools and teachers, good friends — they have all invested in you.
Start giving back.
Remember the ebb and flow? You’ve been ebbing so start flowing 🐳
Generously give back your time, attention, and money to people and causes you care about.
Don’t know who to give to? Start your own organization or learn more about what you care about by getting involved in your community.
Did you know: By living in US you already are in the 1%?
True. You most likely make more money than most of the rest of the world even if you are considered poor in America.
So which label are you going to ascribe to? Poor? or Rich?
Rather than complaining about what you aren’t or don’t have, empower yourself by recognizing you are wealthy. You are the 1%. Start sharing your wealth and give back from the resources that have been given to you and help someone else join you among the world’s wealthy. 🔑
You have all that you need to do a lot of good. What you do with it is up to you.
What you can do:
- Donate to a cause via time, money, or resources
- Build a school, library, park, or community center in your country or another one
- Create micro grants or a scholarship fund
- Mentor
- Clean up and leave a place better than you found it
- Write a book about your journey and all you have learned. Or teach a class. Help others have your success or learn from your mistakes
- Tutor children in reading, writing, science, or math
- Volunteer in a classroom or community organization
- Campaign for a policy or politician
- Work for a city organization such as the firefighters
- Go on a mission trip
- Serve on an organization’s board such as this one
Resources:
2020.34 Get Gritty & Work Hard
Why this matters: I think nothing is going to get you further in life.
You want to go far?
Put your noise to the grind stone, pick up your bootstraps, start hustlin’.
Sure, there may be political, social, economic barriers that present some challenges, but when there is a will, there is always a way.
With hard work you can accomplish anything you want to do. And any celeb or social person you idolize only got to where they are at through hard work — remember that.
Clear the glitz, glamour, and confetti and it’s all blood, sweat, and tears.
What you can do:
- Take risks and ask for more responsibility. Then deliver
- Don’t let any job be “below you”
- Stretch your capabilities and challenge yourself to take on more than you think you can handle 🔥
- If you’re the smart one in the room, find a new room 🚪
- Ask people what their day is like and then add their day onto yours. Double your work and do it better than they are just to prove to yourself how hard you can actually work
- Get hungry for more
- Drive yourself to accomplish all of your goals this year
- Know you are capable of anything. It’s true
Resources:
2020.35 Forgive
Why this matters: This is such a big one and yet it is also very simple.
Forgive.
Forgive others for their mistakes and you for yours.
The end.
Now this doesn’t mean you accept or approve of what they did. Nor are you saying you liked it and want them to do it again. But you are forgiving them and releasing them from further judgement and hostility.
This process is not so much for them as it is for you and your healing. When you forgive you are able to move on and let go. Your baggage gets lighter, your focus becomes clearer, and your consciousness is cleaner.
Hold the other in love and light and let them know you forgive them for what they did.
Release and let go.
What you can do:
- Imagine all of the things you are hostile about as balloons. Pop them one-by-one or let go of the strings
- Write a letter and send it to let the person know you forgive them
- Write a letter about why you are mad and then burn it
- Do work to figure out why you are mad in the first place. Do you want something from them? Are you actually mad about something else? Are you playing victim? Do you like having something to be mad about or keep you from having an intimate/close relationship?
- Seek professional help
- Ask the person questions about why they did what they did. Try to understand where they were coming from
- Vent your anger so you can make room for understanding. Bang balloons, beat pillows, punch a bag, etc. Get it out to make room for healing
Resources:
2020.36 Know Your History
Why this matters: This one is simple. Learn about your family history.
I have met many people who have no idea where they come from or what kind of people raised the people who raised them (aka their grandparents).
Understand where you come from, who you come from, their life story, and what kind of genetics and epigenetics make up who you are. This will help you take care of yourself, empower yourself, and stop generational disease, poverty, trauma, and abuse.
What you can do:
- Genetic testing
- Ancestral travel and research
- Ask for and listen to stories about past and current generations. Bring a tape recorder!
Resources:
2020.37 Know Thyself
Why this matters: I’m not even sure how to stress how important this one is.
How about you try it for yourself and see how life changing it can be for you?
What you can do:
- Ask yourself lots of questions all the time. Why am I doing this? Do I really like this? What do I really like? What drives me? Why? How do I feel? Why? Do I like them? Why or why not? What do I want to do in this moment? Why do I behave that way? Why was my first thought this rather than that? I noticed I just did __X__, why? A lot of self-reflection and behavior analysis can help you understand why you do what you do and why you are the way you are. This enables you to change your behavior a lot easier than if you were clueless as to why you are who you are
Resources:
Story: As I’ve shared before I had a lot of anger as a kid. It would have been easy for me to go down an unproductive, disempowering road if I had not done a lot of self reflection and heavily analyzed the behavior of others.
By knowing my own behavior I can set myself up for success, play to my strengths, or circumvent my weaknesses in key moments.
I can decide what I want and clearly know how I am going to get it and what will be required of me.
It’s easy to play small and fall into the black hole of victimhood. Or you can take a good look at yourself, all the good and all the bad, and start doing the work. Get to know yourself so you can start to change.
It’s not easy and may take you years, but it’s so worth it.
Now, on the whole, I am no longer angry, hostile, shy, scared, anxious, or a victim. I do still make mistakes and have a normal range of emotions, but they are a lot less dictated by my past. I can live in the present and empower myself for the future.
Let’s get you there too.
2020.38 Be A Strict Shopper 🧥
Why this matters: I love clothes and especially unique shoes! 💖
I have anywhere from pairs of heels that look like hiking boots to velvet loafers from France. Fashion is fun and looking good feels great!
But you know what feels not so great?
Buying things you toss out only months later, fast fashion, things that don’t fit just right or look cheap. Waste. I don’t like waste.
So how do you have fun shopping and have a wardrobe that looks fabulous without all that waste?
Discretion. Lots of discretion. 🤔
I am very careful in what I buy. If it is not up to my standards, I will not keep it. The fact is that I do not need anything anyways. So if I am going to buy something else it should bring me joy and add to my life. If it’s going to waste my money or the planet’s resources and end up in the dump because it fell apart after a few uses, it’s not worth it. I’m worth more.
You’re worth more.
But things worth more.
What you can do:
- Buy only clothes that fit well. Either try them on in the store or at home and be ready to return them if they don’t absolutely work
- Purchase things that will last — Timeless fashion made of high quality materials. If you cannot afford to buy something like that now, start saving. Don’t settle. I am sure you have all you need now except maybe some new underwear or socks
- Ask for it as a gift or birthday present
- Loose threads or buttons? Hard to use zippers? Cheap material or glue? No can do. Hold out for something that’s made with time and care
- Need discount prices for higher quality? Shop at used clothing stores or vintage shops.
- Love it except for this one thing, don’t cave. Skip it until you find something you really enjoy. Even if that one thing is the price tag — then definitely don’t do it. You should feel like what you are getting is worth what you are paying
- Use what you have until it not longer is appropriate to wear. Get the most out of it before buying more. No one really cares how many times you’ve already worn that outfit
- If you have a job were you have to wear something different all the time, consider donating your clothing to programs that provide clothes for released inmates who are searching for jobs or another good cause
Resources:
2020.39 Get Out of Your Bubble
Why this matters: It is easy to get comfortable in your routine and lifestyle.
We find the people we want to be around and settle in. But living in these bubbles can cause us to be less empathetic or experienced when interacting with people who behave or think differently than us.
Being bitter, defensive, or having groupthink can become our norm.
Shake things up by getting out of your social, political, professional, or personal bubble.
What you can do:
- Hang out with types of people you’ve never been with before
- Ask questions of someone from the “other side” and understand their point of view
- Seek out people from other industries or social classes and ask about their work or how they would solve a problem
- Travel to new places
- Read and listen to news from different sources than usual and be open to their perspective
- Ask a friend if you can go to their place of worship and see what it is like
- Have coffee with someone you usually avoid
Resources:
2020.40 Try New things
Why this matters: Building off of No39, trying new things can also help get your out of your bubble and it enhances your life.
Who knows, that new thing you try might be the beginnings of your next career or lead you to the love of your life.
What you can do:
- Travel
- Meet up
- Join a club or class
- Go to a show or event
- Change the channel on your radio or TV to something you never would usually listen to
- Move or change jobs
- Be open to dating someone different from “your type”
- Ask your friends to invite you along for something they usually do without you
- Randomly look up a new thing to try
- Learn a new skill, language or instrument
- Make a bucket list and start checking it off
Resources:
